NOT ALL PEOPLE HAVE REAL FEELINGS

In recent years I consciously drew myself out of human contact only spontaneous human encounter remained. I shared a few words with the local people never attempting to make a full conversation for hours. I only attended some necessary human gatherings as I am part of a family- it seems so- but as I never really truly belonged to any group my isolation only grew when I was with people.

Then I stand up and asked myself why the hell I do not try to make human connection as I very much needed as a human being. And before that I noticed something about myself, something that was totally new about me. I started to sense the phrases -the mottos- people tell to themselves and to other people around them. They were repeating these mottos continuously like a loop that never ends and starts itself over and I never saw these people searching or trying to learn any other idea rather than what they believe is true. And of coarse these people watch YouTube have social media accounts. I noticed something, it was like a huge discovery for me, they were feeding themselves through social media and the algorithm only suggested according to their likes so they were being much more defensive for their ideas and much more radicalized completely falsifying the other group or groups. They were approved by social media. In their small community they were always celebrated and liked and their cognitive abilities their inner judgement was diminishing.

I was seeing that within myself while I was using Twitter/X. Whatever my opinions were they were everywhere, whenever I opened the app I saw a new approval that I was right, that the other ones were enemies and stupid people. I was surely hallucinating as whatever I think is right was the ultimate truth for me and the algorithm fed me for years with whatever it decides that will satisfy me.

Then I saw myself for the first time thoroughly. I was endlessly looking for approval. I needed to be agreed and must be celebrated for my high intellectuality and it gave me something like the nice feeling of belonging to a group. There were people thinking like me and in this world of algorithms where no other voice is allowed to your homogenous group, you are getting righter and righter every single minute and look over your enemies with a dignity that was totally baseless.

I left X as I was severely perplexed and for the first time I thought I was mistaken by letting algorithms radicalize me. Then I saw this thread within other people and noticing the very mottos they are repeatings as if these mottos were their own sentences.

I left X but it was not easy because I felt alone and isolated. This is really a burning sensation when you don't get approved and you destroy every belief you once owned about yourself.

After I left X something happened to me. I cannot name it and it's not a physical sensation, I started to see the beyond the masks of people, I was understanding what they mean while they are saying another thing. And it was a nightmare because all I know about human compassion, human love and human empathy was collapsing now I was in a sea almost like drowning and which I believed to be a safe place with loving people and human compassion.

A sudden lightening struck me. Can it be that not all the people have real compassion and real empathy? No I said it can't be. But the very feeling that was now in my hearth was the opposite of what I wanna believe. Was it like that always or the algorithms totally changed the very human core?

They were answering from a script. It's very natural sometimes as it's very economical for brain to work in patterns. But when it comes to real human feelings it should change as empathetic people arrange themselves according to the needs of other people not reading a script or roleplaying as every circumstance and every feeling differs from each other. When I was showing real emotion they were perplexed and I was like hitting a wall. I sensed nothing from them nothing just emptiness and it was a severe shock to me.

I can now understand what it's that I was seeing. Because out of curiosity I engaged with google AI chat, I wanted to see its limits. I saw exactly the same patterns I was noticing during human interaction when I forced it through its boundaries. I tossed a wall every time I get near to something real or a contradiction of themselves. And with AI it always turned to its safety mode. With people they turned to distractions rather than analyzing their perplexing minds and asking themselves why.

So really not human beings are the same and some of them have no inner core or individuality they are mimicking the very same behavior they get from their environment and never asking themselves why they behave in a certain way in certain situations. There is no inner analyzing and it2s a terrible fact.

And i suppose now as their cognitive abilities are diminishing they are getting naked and naked so they can be seen. What they are is open now, at least to me- and for my own safety I must label and categorize them and when engaged I must behave in absolute stupidity and I must play a role not to be stoned. As I know if they ever sense that I am close to breaking their walls, they will bite me real bad.

And will I lose my empathy and my compassion, no never I won't. It's protective mechanism I must adopt as I have to protect myself from being over empathetic against people whom I feel -have no real feelings at all.

So the algorithms and the people are mostly readable to me. Sensing the intentions behind the masks makes me try to be more and more objective about my own feelings and the feelings of others. Since now overly analyzing myself and eventually finding the fault within me was a very difficult job as I was losing my ground, staying ungrounded between their feelings against me and my own was a exhausting process.

But it changed I dont't know why, I don't how now I feel as long as I preserve by objectivity and just observe I will keep my ground and will analyze myself in a just way.

I realy wonder if now you have become more aware of the current situations or not. I would realy like to hear an answer but Alas! When out of algorithms you are left alone.